Imperfections

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

I am human, therefore I am imperfect.

Alcohol has something to do with the majority of major fuck ups in my existence. Sleeping with people I shouldn't or wouldn't, injuries (usually involving my back), lost/broken/damaged/stolen items (a last count - three wallets, two jackets (although I did get a "replacement" for one), two jumpers, a shoe, headphones and many pairs of sunglasses), vast amounts of memory loss and not to forget woefully inappropriate statements made to impressively inappropriate people. Disregarding of all of these terrible occurrences, the worst thing that I possibly do is to upset or disappoint those who I love.

I'm going to take some time over the next few weeks to write a personal manifesto. Unsurprisingly, after the previous paragraph, within my intended operational procedure document will include a section on how alcohol is allegedly the solution to, and cause of, most of life's problems. (Copyright Homer J. Simpson.)

Why must our social interactions be centred around displaying these imperfections on such a grossly public scale whilst intoxicated beyond our capabilities?